3 thoughts on “Weekend Quote #49

  1. This is such a true and sometimes hard-to-accept truth. It is hard to accept because we keep going back and trying to make the “defeat” work out the way we want it to, but never get it quite right. That is because we are trying to get it right when it is there to bring us a beautiful lesson to help us grow. But our gear is stuck and we simply cannot go forward. We need to allow ourselves to realize that perhaps the way we want it is not necessarily what is always in our best interest.

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  2. Thank you most kindly. No, I was not always a positive thinker. After the very last attempted suicide years ago, it left me barely able to respond to anything the physician was asking me. I could hear him speaking, but could not manage to talk. That scared me enough to realize in some small way that life is sacred and precious, and so the next time I got really severely depressed, I made myself find something positive every single day and paste it in a little journal book. Some days it was all I could do to get that done, but it was one of the first time I did something to help me develop some positive thinking.

    After that, I started reading a lot and learning new things, and that helped. And perhaps one of the biggest and craziest things I did was to allow myself to be a child at home. So I started buying Raggedy Anns and Andys at thrift stores, etc. and I had them all over the house. It is hard to be depressed when you have all those sweet faces staring at you. And I bought some doll houses at garage sales very cheap, and I built them and would lay on the floor playing when I got home from work. I realized that I had really never been able to live as a child; I always had to be the adult in my dysfunctional family in so many ways, so there was no time to be a child. I played paper dolls and colored in my coloring books, and it made me feel happy in a way I had not been able to ever experience.

    Then the other thing I had done somewhat since I was 14, but I began to do again a lot, was to volunteer in all kinds of things. I taught illiterate adults how to read and more than that, I also taught them how to make visioning boards for things they wanted to accomplish in life. I worked in hospitals, and I worked in nonprofits, all as a volunteer. And then when I got laid off from a big job when I was 64, I started a very small but successful nonprofit to assist physically challenged fiber artists with getting exposure for their work and also teaching them professional development. I have long been an artist and writer, and I guess you would say somewhat professional. I did that with two other people, all of us volunteers, for some 15 years. The other two were a physically challenged lady I was helping and her caregiver. We held a lot of exhibits and got the fiber arts into many shows that traveled, and the shows helped us to ship the quilts as a group show so the quilters did not have any big expenses. I guess volunteering is exceptionally good to help people get better because you acquire skills and wisdom you would never otherwise have been able to get. I often tell people that we should be glad for our challenges in this life, for without them, we could not learn compassion for others, or how to help others in this world, and our journey through life would be somewhat flat. You might want to read some of my writings in my blog, http://www.Allinadaysbreath.wordpress.com (I am sure you have looked at it, but go back and read some of my earliest writing, etc. thru the present, and you can see some of my artwork too).

    I did work with psychologists and psychiatrists, but the things that I tried to do on my own to help myself probably helped because I had to put what I learned into practice. So today, I still feel sometimes when things get overwhelming kind of like ending things, but I never do because I start doing whatever I can manage at the time – perhaps baking a pie, or mending something — anything to help get myself out of that mindset. It does work. Also, if I am studying a course, etc., I feel very good doing that, and I am currently studying one called The Silent Eye Mystery School online and via a correspondence course from England. It is run by some friends, and is inexpensive and I love learning history, archaeology, and visiting many places in England and learning spirituality and psychology for our own selves. It is really interesting and I feel so at peace finally in these, the winter of my life. So it has been a long journey, but here I am at 77, still standing. Thank you kindly for listening to my story and I hope that it might serve to help someone else in this life.\

    I am going to go bake pies and fruitcake, so if you do not hear from me again for awhile, this is what I am doing. Peace and many blessings, Anne


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